Book Summary: How To Win And Influence People
Author: Dale Carnegie
About the author: Dale Carnegie was a american speaker . He wrote many books in fields of self improvement , salesmanship , public speaking etc .He is particularly known as the author of “How To Win Friends And Influence People.”
He used to lecture people on public speaking and handling people .He was a phenomenal speaker himself . He used to organize courses on public speaking sales and business training .
In his career he was a successful person . The course which he created was a hit . There were hundreds of people who wanted to learn the art of public speaking took this course . They found out amazing ways of dealing with people in their business , personal life etc .
About the book : This book was written initially to be used as a textbook in the Carnegie course . The book is a practical , working handbook on human relations .
It has lessons from man successful leaders , philosophers who were excellent in handling people. The principles in this book are a result of researching hundreds of books peoples leaders over a period of time.
This book has been recommended by many successful speakers and leaders around the world. It is a classic in public speaking .
It teaches ways in which you can deal with people more easily and influence them to your way of thinking .
Ch 1 . If You Want To Gather Honey Don`t Kick Over The Beehive
Author says that human mind is very defensive . It starts to defend itself from any harm
It makes one think of himself as the right person and not criticize itself for a mistake .
when you criticize others , their mind takes a defensive stance it will make them feel as right and put the blame on others .it won`t make them see their mistake .
If you want other people to see their mistakes and not resent you the author says
DON`T CRITICIZE THEM . It hurt their feelings and make them resent you . People
don`t run on logic they run on emotions . They have their own beliefs and pride. If you hurt someones pride they will resent you.
When you encounter such situation in which you have to criticize the person
before you . First put yourself in their shoes and see could you have done
any better .
Don`t speak ill of them , speak the good that you know about them then tell them what they could have done .
Show them that you care about them and seek their good. Become someone who understand others and forgives for their mistakes .
Key points .
1. Don`t criticize .
2. Before finding others fault put yourself in their shoes .
3. Understand others and forgive .
Ch 2. The Big Secret Of Dealing With People
People have many desires that they want to achieve. It can be the desire to
be the best basketball player , best chef or become a good husband or wife .
But author says that what most people like you and me desire the most is
“DESIRE TO BE APPRECIATED” . People want to be recognized by others they want
to be important in their friend circle , at their office , in their family etc.
To achieve this desire they will do anything . Like following the latest trends ,
buying an expensive house even though they don`t have enough money,
buying the latest cars , using social media , how many friends they have etc.
Author says that people in their lives only think about themselves , seldomly
they think about others .
If you want to achieve other people`s cooperation you need to think about them , you need to give them what they want . They want to be important , be appreciated .
You need to feed their hunger by honestly appreciating them no matter the work they do. You need to appreciated what good they have done even in bad situations . Don`t flatter them , they will notice it . In the long term flattering won`t come in handy .
1. Appreciate others honestly .
2. Don`t flatter others .
3. Think more about others than yourself .
This is the end of the summary of the wonderful book “How To Win Friends And Influence People . ”
I recommend buying the book because this summary is only a small portion of information the book has to offer . Reading the book helps you to gain more knowledge and make your own independent opinions .
You can buy this book through amazon.